Knock Knock

Papa: Knock knock.

Mama: Knock knock.

Papa: You say, who's there?

Mama: Oh, OK.

Papa: Knock knock.

Mama: Who's there?

Papa: Boo!

Mama (confused)

Papa: You say, Boo, who?

Mama: Boo, who?

Papa: Why are you crying?

Mama (confused)

Papa: That's what people say when they are crying.

Stephen: Me! Me!

Papa: OK, go ahead.

Stephen: Knock, knock!

Papa: Who's there?

Stephen (grinning ear-to-ear): Heyyyyyy!

Clippers Fan

Papa (at checkout counter, wearing Clippers t-shirt)

Cashier: You a Clippers fan?

Papa: Well, actually I got this shirt as a free giveaway at this place where I used to work. We got to go see the first game when Blake .. What was his name? Is he still playing with them? Yeah? Are the Clippers doing OK this year? We are in season right now? Ok. Well, anyways, the funny thing is that for the first year that my employer was sponsoring the Clippers, I actually thought that they were a farm team for the Lakers! Like, I didn't even realize that they were a real NBA team. So yeah, I don't really follow sports that much, but this was just a free t-shirt that they gave me.

Cashier: So, you always been a Clippers fan?

Papa: Yes.

Ow!

Stephen hits Sarah, then turns to Mama making a pain face, holding up his hand and and saying, "OW!"

Mama (shaking head): Mmm Stephen, you hurt your hand?

House Rule #37

House Rule #37:

Mamas can fart and it's never a big deal, but when papas fart it's a near criminal offense.

Rolling Stones

Did you hear that the Rolling Stones are putting out a whole new album with music just for toddlers? It's gonna be called "Stinky Fingers."

Can't Sleep

Papa: I can't sleep.

Mama: Well, then why don't you get up and do something productive, like go wash the dishes?

Papa: Thank you so much for helping baby, I am starting to get sleepy already!

Chicken Soup

Mama was feeling kind of sick. 

I told her I would make her some chicken soup. She was excited. She was even more excited when I told her that my chicken soup is very good. 

Then I told her that the only thing is I never know how to get the feathers out of the soup water. 

Then she told me that she wanted to make the soup herself. She is going to the store now to get some potatoes.

Trip Log

4:30 am Leave Chardon with a car overloaded with Christmas presents
4:35 am Sarah: Silly Christmas tree, it’s outside! (Sees lights on pine tree)
9:19 am leave Ohio, enter Indiana

Almost Thought It Was St. Louis

9:45 am Gas up in Spiceland, IN, birthplace of all of the Spice Girls. Gas $3.11/gal
10:00 am Eating the world’s worst truck stop corn dogs in recorded human history. Stephen rightfully refuses them.
11:00 am Indianapolis, IN

Schroeder On Mistletoe

When I saw you coming, I took it down. Then I threw it in the trash burner, and I burned it, and I stood there watching it burn to make sure it was destroyed, and it was! I destroyed it completely!
- Schroeder to Lucy as to why he has no mistletoe hanging near his piano
http://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/2012/12/24

Grandpa

Grandpa, in Marc's parking lot: What's with all the politeness? It's Christmas. It's every man for himself!

(Note for future generations: He was joking, of course).

Pit Stop

Stephen (And Sarah) Climbed Up Into Their Own Highchairs

This post brought to you by McDonald's, the only restaurant to have ever thought about what kids want.

Motel Soap

Motel soap and water make you grateful for the small things, like REAL soap and water. And please don't even mention the shampoo.

Hotel Towels

Apparently the new way of preventing theft of hotel towels is making them so undesirable that no-one would even want to take them.

Radio

You know, you might think that the in-between places in the US where there is only one radio station broadcasting would somehow play the very best music available. However, you would be wrong.

Shoes

We found some tennis shoes for Stephen in a mall discount store right by the children's play area. They were $3 but Mama talked them down to $2 because they were dirty. Stephen loved them and the moment they were on, he baby sprinted through the store and out the door. On the ride home, he kept looking at them, smiling, and pointing at them.

Mama: Stephen, do you like your new shoes?

Stephen: (Smiles, moves eyebrows, nods, points to shoes)

Fashion notes: They are blue Thomas the Train tennies with Velcro straps. 

Candy Canes

Mama helped the kids hang candy canes on the tree. This is sort of like having crack addicts hanging vials of crack in plain sight and just out of reach. Not sure how this one will work out...

Singing

The kids love to sing. We have been singing some Christmas songs here and there. Sarah does pretty well and Stephen tries too, moaning "uhhh" "uhhhh" "uhhhh". They remind me of the old SNL skit where Tarzan, Tonto and Frankenstein's monster sing Christmas carols:

Farts

Scene: Nighttime.

Papa farts. Mama farts, much louder. From the crib, baby Stephen quietly mini-farts.

Mama: It's like Fiona and the kids from the Shrek Christmas video.

Glasses

The Good News Is That She Didn't ...

Go Blind Trying These On

12/12/12

Happy 12/12/12 Day! I guess it is almost an official holiday today.

I got it confused with the Mayan end of the world but I was told that is not until the 21st.

(Gasp!) Wait - the first day of our scheduled visit with Grandma and Grandpa!! Oh no!